Invented worries

One of the biggest pieces of baggage you pick up when you get on the homeschooling train is worry. We all worry about our kids to varying degrees and for many reasons. Even the most laid back moms and dads are bound to find themselves prey to the worry monster now and again. Am I feeding them well? Are they getting enough activity? Should I enroll them in that class? Should I let them quit the team? Am I reading to them often enough? Do they watch too much TV? Am I doing a good enough job?!?

Adding "primary educator" to an already lengthy job description packs on a lot of room for more worries. Are we doing enough schoolwork? Are we doing too much schoolwork? (Often two worries you'll have in the same day). Do they need more time with friends? Do they need more challenges? Do they need a new activity? Should I enroll them in something else? What about a co-op? Is this homeschool group a good fit? Am I moving them ahead too quickly? Too slowly? Am I doing a good enough job?!?!?

Once in a while it is helpful to stop and look at things with a wee bit more logic than emotion. It is easy to get wrapped up in all those worries and what-ifs and let the image you have in your head of how things ought to be get in the way of seeing how things really are.

Case in point, I have been worrying lately that my kids aren't getting enough opportunities to make new friends. We moved, and while our new homeschool group is nice, but we haven't made a lot of strong connections, especially for David, who is certainly the more social of my minions. I kept thinking about whether to try a small co-op, or jump into the rather large one in the area; or find some other activity to sign him up for that will give him the chance to make more friends. There are some options, but I kept going back and forth on what would be best, what would work with our schedule, and so forth.

I wasn't happy with any of the options, really, and it was bugging me that I couldn't find something that seemed like the perfect fit. Add in my already dramatic propensity for overthinking and I was running myself in mental circles over this one. What I had forgotten to do was probably the first logical step - ask my kids what they wanted.

Today I randomly asked them if they were interested in something like a co-op or other group that meets regularly. The boys both looked at me funny and said something along the lines of, "Not really."

I was stopped dead in my tracks. Didn't they need more time with other kids? Aren't they both pining for more opportunities to meet and hang out with other kids around their age? Aren't they feeling left out and sad because they have only met a few kids they have connected with since we moved?

Nope, apparently not. I asked David more specifically about whether he felt like he needed somewhere to meet more kids his age and he said no. They have a few friends in the neighborhood to hang out with in the afternoons, and he's made a couple friends through our new homeschool group. As I was prodding him, he looked up at me and said, "Mom, it isn't like I'm some lonely kid with no one to play with. I'm good." Grayson echoed the same sentiment.

So here I was, googling and researching and worrying about a problem that didn't even exist. Literally. I spent all that energy on something that wasn't even a problem to begin with.

Yes, I know Mr. Spock. Highly illogical.

So cross that worry off my list. We are starting some new things in the new year - gymnastics for Grayson and Ella and kung fu for David - so that will be a new experience and we'll see where it takes us. And both boys are clamoring for team sports, so I see that in our future as well. I should probably chill myself out and not go from under scheduled to over scheduled. My conversation with them today was a great reminder for me to get out of my head once in a while and take into account their actual needs, not just what I think their needs might be. If they're feeling bored, or lonely, or want something that we aren't doing, they'll speak up. In the meantime, I have enough to worry about without inventing new problems to fret over.

A few holiday confessions

I love this time of year. There is so much to love about Advent and Christmas, and from about Halloween onward, I feel like I'm in holiday mode. But I'm not one of those moms who seems all put together and ties everything with homemade bows and has a house full of Pinteresty decor.

With all the blog posts I'm seeing about great holiday crafts, unit studies and activities, I thought I'd go the other direction and keep it real up in here. Without further ado, or any ado at all, a few holiday confessions from my neck of the woods:

I haven't sent out Christmas cards in years
Usually I'm a traditionalist and I hate to see things change due to modernization or technology, but this is one I haven't kept up with. I love the idea of sending out an adorable photo of my kids to friends and loved ones, but I never wind up actually doing it. I have sent them out a few times since having kids, but not regularly and not in the last few years. I used to use the excuse that I had babies or toddlers and it was too much work. Now my kids are old enough that probably isn't such a good excuse. For now, I'll stay with "I'm keeping things simple." True enough.

Painting projects with my kids make me want to drink heavily
This isn't necessarily holiday related, but it seems like the requests for projects involving paint multiply this time of year. I so want to be that mom, who has arts and crafts going for her kids all the time, regardless of the mess (because my kids LOVE that stuff), and in some ways I am. I'm pretty free with the art supplies and David especially makes so many projects, I'm surprised we aren't buried in them. But getting the paint out always stresses me out. They painted ornaments recently and it was... trying. Maybe when Ella is older and less prone to getting paint all over herself and subsequently touching everything, it won't be so tension inducing. But for now, ugh.

I love to bake, but I rarely bake lots of cookies
This one is easy. If I make them, I eat them. Don't tell me that I can simply give them away, be a friendly neighbor and give away plates of cookies and all that. I would do that (and have, in the past), but it wouldn't stop me from eating my weight in sugar. There's that block of time from mixing bowl (because yum, cookie dough) to packaging for distribution and my willpower is exactly zero. Especially for my own baking. If I want to fit into my jeans by Christmas day, I can't spend a month baking dozens of cookies.

We buy too much stuff for our kids
Every year - every single year - we say we won't do it. We say we'll be more moderate, more mindful of our gift choices, and we won't go overboard. And every year, we still do. We are getting a lot better. Compared to some of those early Christmases as parents, we've scaled back. But there are far too many guilt inducing blog posts and articles out there, touting the merits of "simple," "thrifty," and "scaled down," Christmas giving. We certainly aren't extravagant compared to many people, but I always wind up feeling like we did too much. I'll go ahead and throw my husband under the bus on this one. This is clearly his fault. (OK, not totally.)

So what about you? Are you a shouter? A crier? A pouter? What's putting you on the naughty list this year?

The homeschool mom's guide to sick days

I'm sick. Its just a cold, so I'm not going to die or anything, but being the mom and being sick ought to be mutually exclusive, in my opinion. No one gave me the number for the homeschooling sub line, so I guess I'm stuck being the one in charge, despite my deep desire to do nothing but curl up with my box of Kleenex, a hot cup of tea, and watch the rest of Downton Abbey season 3 (which I have not watched yet, so don't you dare give anything away!).

So what do you do when you're the mom, and the teacher, and there's no hope of a replacement? There are a few go-to things that can help the day go by smoothly and keep you from feeling too terribly guilty that your sick day is turning into a total day-off for the kids. (Although if it does, don't beat yourself up. This kind of flexibility is one of the benefits of homeschooling).

1. Audio books or stories

We enjoy a lot of audio stories, especially in the car. But at home, they can be a great quiet time activity, allowing you to not only get some much needed rest, but expose your kids to great language and literature at the same time. Picture this - you, on the couch with your tea (or beverage of choice), doing nothing while your kids soak up rich language and literary awesomeness. That sounds like a win-win to me.

Check out the tons of great stories by Jim Weiss, and we love all the wonderful free stories on StoryNory.com.

2. Netflix

Yes, I am suggesting TV. Gasp! But the screen! The mind-melting effect of television! The horror!

Let go of your mommy-guilt, and turn the darn thing on. No, I don't normally let my kids watch lots of TV, but I do let them watch some and there are days when "some" turns into "a lot." Like today. But maybe use that time to watch that documentary on ancient Rome you thought the kids might enjoy. Watch March of the Penguins. Let them watch episodes of Magic School Bus. Let your preschooler watch a Leapfrog show. There are a lot of pretty great shows available, and whether you have Netflix, or some cool DVDs in your collection, declaring a movie-afternoon isn't a bad thing once in a while.

Even non-educational movies can have value. Watch The Little Mermaid, then listen to or read the original version later. Talk about how they are the same, and how they are different. Watch a fun family move, then use it as a springboard to talk about characters, plot and conflict. Movies have the ability to distill an entire plot line with character arc, conflict and resolution, all in one sitting. Use the movie to point out some of these very literary elements in a new way.

3. Art

Get out some art supplies and have at it. Make recycled material robots or cars. Cover your table with a table cloth, put out your paints and paint brushes, a big stack of paper, and let them go to town. Get out the play dough, or even just a bunch of paper, crayons, markers, scissors, tape and glue. Don't worry about how much they use - let them use the supplies freely. Many kids love to create and giving them free access to supplies and the time to use them is a great use of an afternoon.

4. Music

Do you hear about those families who regularly play classical music while the kids copy lines from the Declaration of Independence or the Bible? Have you been wanting to include more music exposure in your homeschool? Use the sick day to give it a try. Don't make a production out of it - just log into Spotify, or grab a classical music CD you already own, and hit play. Let it be on in the background while they play with their toys and let the melodies and magic of great music soothe you.

When all else fails, just do your best. Throw some food at them now and then, make sure they have access to clean water, and know that you'll feel better soon and a few days thrown off by illness isn't going to hurt them in the long run.

An open letter to mothers everywhere

Dear Moms,

What I want to say to you has nothing to do with whether or not you work outside the home, inside the home, stay at home with your children, send them to boarding school, or public school, or private school or homeschool. What I want to say isn't dependent on whether your life looks like mine or affirms my life choices. It doesn't matter whether those children of yours grew in your womb, or grew in your heart and in the womb of another; whether you had the chance to hold your babies or had to say goodbye to them far too soon. What I want to say to you is simply based on what I know to be a Truth, one with a very intentional capital "T," as it is one of those truths that simply is.

You are a mother, and that matters.

There was a time when us women did not have very many choices. We could be wives and mothers, or nurses, teachers or secretaries. Brave and unrefined were the women who sported pants and dared to stand up and say something ought to be different. We are more than bodies to bear children, hands to cook and clean. We are bright and thoughtful and wonderful creatures and you should set us free in the world. Just you wait and see what we can do.

And we did. We cast off the shackles of cultural expectations and changed things. And in very many ways, this is good. Free will is one of the cornerstones of human existence, granted to us by God Himself, and not tread upon even by Him. A woman today has choices in things she would not have once had. She can be so very many things, do so very many things.

But regardless of what you tell people you "do", mothers - you matter.

Somewhere along the way, things went off course. The choice became the expectation. The superwoman can do it all! The truth hits us hard in the face, as we realize something is amiss with that vision. The right choice for one may not be the right choice for another. But instead of that being OK, there is judgment, or the fear of judgment.

What was once a cry for liberation has become a cry of confusion. If I stay home with my children, am I worth less than my sister who earns a salary? If I work and earn money, am I neglecting my kids to do so?

With either choice, you matter.

There is no one like a mother. She fills a certain place in a person's heart that simply cannot be filled by anyone else. Ask anyone who has lost her. It feels much like the phantom itching of an amputee, reaching out to scratch a leg that is no longer there. She was so enormous, so important and irreplaceable, when she is gone, the loss is breathtaking. I know this because my husband knows. She is gone, and he will never be the same.

You, dear mother, you are the boo-boo kisser, lullaby singer, fixer of broken trucks and builder of paper airplanes. You are the one they go to in the night when their tummy hurts; the one they snuggle up with on the couch in their most innocent, tender moments. You are their strength, their soft place to land, their roots and their wings. You are a piece of your children that no one else will ever be. And that matters. It matters to your children in ways that you might not realize. It matters to those around you, as you pour yourself into your children, loving them and nurturing them, teaching them and molding them.

You may go your whole mothering life and never get the thanks you deserve. The people around you might never understand or appreciate what it is you do. Or they might. But your worth, your value, your dignity as a person don't hinge on them. It isn't the size of your paycheck or the grades your kids get that make you worthy. You are worthy simply because you are, because you exist. You are a totally unique and irreplaceable human being and God loves you with a love that defies the understanding of our comparatively small hearts.

And your children? They love you almost that much.

However it is that you fill your days; whatever you'd write on a resume or in a letter to an old friend - you matter. You matter to those kids who call you Mommy. The very mundane tasks of caring for a family are so very, very valuable. The hard and unglamorous work of mothering - the dirty diapers, soccer games, messy faces, misplaced socks, piles of laundry, snotty noses, Curious George books, and toys on the floor - those things feel so terribly ordinary, and yet are so terribly important.

Mothers, you are the glue that holds us all together. With your love and care, each generation of humans rise up to inhabit this earth. It is at your hands, and figurative apron strings, that these little people grow up and become our replacements. That matters.

You matter. And the next time you question your worth, question your decisions or question your value, look into the eyes of one of those extraordinary little people you gave your heart to, and I promise you, you will see it. You'll see that you matter, and that what you do has value and great worth.

Monster Green Smoothie

This is super random, but has me rather excited. I am on a mission to feed my family better. Rather than being one of those sexy super spy missions that requires a black spandex bodysuit and lots of tiny gadgets, this mission looks more like me sitting at the computer a lot. I read a lot about nutrition, and I search for new recipe ideas a little bit obsessively. But feeding a family with three children who have not been raised on 100% healthy food for their entire lives, and a husband who has some, ahem, pickiness issues, is a challenge. Perhaps if I'd been one of those moms who never pulls through a McDonald's and whose kids have never had anything with sugar in it, I'd have them happily eating nothing but broccoli and brussels sprouts. Alas, I am not that mom, and my kids will chose crappy chicken nuggets over almost anything else, any day of the week.

I've had a recent success, however, and when I come up with a recipe or food idea that is not sugar laden, and all three of them will eat, I get a little excited.

Enter the Monster Green Smoothie!

(I totally made that name up just now)

There's really nothing revolutionary about this recipe, and I'm sure you'll find numerous versions of a green smoothie that are basically the same. So to say I "created" this isn't quite accurate. Mostly, I just threw a bunch of stuff in a blender and hoped for the best. But this combination has proved to be delicious, and although it does contain orange juice as a base (aka, sugar), it is healthy enough for my liking.

And my kids are drinking these with breakfast. Cue Hallelujah Chorus in my head.

Monster Green Smoothie

• Handful of spinach and kale
• Lime juice
• Coconut milk
• 1/2 to 1 ripe avocado
• Frozen banana chunks
• Orange juice
• Lemon juice
• A few ice cubes

Short version of the directions: throw it in a blender and turn on.

Longer version:
I blend the spinach and kale first, with a few squirts of lime juice and enough coconut milk to get it to blend. The lime juice cuts down any bitterness in the green stuff.
Once it is nicely liquefied, I add the other ingredients - the avocado makes it creamy and adds healthy fats, frozen banana is awesome in smoothies, and they like them really cold so I still add a couple ice cubes. Grayson came up with the idea to add a squirt of lemon juice, and usually another squirt of lime juice, at the end. The kids seem to think those little squirts of acidity to be essential, but bet they can be left out and probably not alter the flavor a whole lot. Add enough orange juice to get a good smoothie consistency and blend away.

I have a Ninja Kitchen Prep, which is a pretty cool blender, but not one of those crazy expensive ones, and it blends everything up just fine.

The smoothie ends up a fabulous green color, and it is full of some good stuff - and best of all, my kids happily slurp them up. This has vegetables in it, people. That is huge.

I realized I probably should have taken a picture, because blog posts look better with pictures, but I didn't and my kids already drank theirs down. If I think about it, I'll add one later, but chances are I won't - so I submit the lack of picture as evidence of this smoothie's yumminess - gone too quick to photograph!

How we "do" history, and an early middle ages booklist

History is a favorite subject of mine. There was a time I thought I'd be a history major, naturally going on to teach in a prestigious academic setting, igniting young minds with the passion for learning from the past and appearing on gritty History Channel documentaries as the resident expert on the Middle Ages.

Too far? Yeah, probably.

In any case, I love history, and I'd like it if my kids at least had a passing interest in it. There are so many great stories, interesting people, and fascinating events. But how should we study history with kids 8 and under? This isn't really the time for in-depth analysis, and I'm not big on memorizing names and dates. And, given that this year my mantra is "Keep it Simple," grandiose plans that include building ourselves thatched roof cottages in the backyard probably aren't the best idea.

Besides, Trogdor the Burninator might show up.

(Please, please comment if you're geeky enough to get that reference).

Enter my strategy for completely fabulous, yet very simple history studies. This is something even non-homeschooling parents can do with their kids, in the evenings or whenever you have some family time. Are you ready?

Read.

Yep. Just read. Seriously, there are so many amazing books out there that will bring history alive for you and your kids. Books that are beautifully written, and many with lovely illustrations, that ignite the imagination and transport you back in time in a way no textbook could. (Keyword for homeschoolers: Living Books!)

Is that enough? Well, that is the quintessential homeschooling parent question, isn't it? We berate ourselves with "Is it enough?" constantly. Taking on the responsibility for educating your children does that to you.

I'll argue that yes, it is enough. Reading aloud isn't where it ends in our house, I'll be truthful about that. There is always discussion and questions about what we've read - some of it falling under what you'd call "narrations," or Julie Bogart of Brave Writer would call, "Big, Juicy Conversations." Good stuff, all of it, but none of it has required fill-in-the-blank worksheets or memorizing dates or reading comprehension questions. And we are making a very simple timeline notebook this year, which I'll probably detail in another post. But the bulk of how we're studying history is really that simple - reading great books.

What are these great books you speak of, you ask? Ok, so maybe you aren't asking, but I'm telling nonetheless. I won't list everything I have lined up for the year, because that would be prohibitively long. So I'll start with our first "Unit," if you will, and I'll share what we read on later topics and time periods as we go. Right now, we're reading about the early middle ages - from around the fall of the western Roman Empire to about the 8th century - covering things like the Celts, monks and monasteries and the preservation of knowledge, and King Clovis.

To that end, we're reading:

A Little History of the World, by E.H. Gombrich
This is our "spine," if you will. I organized our other reading to correspond with chapters from A Little History. We started with Chapter 19, The Starry Night Begins. Once we read that, we started on our other books.

The Ink Garden of Brother Theophane
About a monk who isn't satisfied with the plain brown inks his monastery uses to copy books, this gives a poetic look into the life of early monks. Brother Theophane is something of a misfit, but his imagination and ingenuity turn books into works of art.

The Holy Twins: Benedict and Scholastica
Beautifully illustrated by Tomie de Paola, this story follows the lives of Saint Benedict and his twin sister Saint Scholastica. Benedict wrote the Rule of St. Benedict, a set of rules for life in a monastery that is still in use today.

Brigid's Cloak
Brigid's Cloak is a lovely ancient Irish legend. Brigid's mother receives a blue cloak for her daughter when she is born, and it has a surprising purpose in Brigid's life.

Celtic Fairy Tales
I picked this book up years ago at Half Price books for a few bucks, and I'm so glad I did. This is a lovely book with some wonderful Celtic stories.

Saint Patrick, Patron Saint of Ireland
Did you know Saint Patrick wasn't Irish? Knock me down with a mug of green beer, I had no idea. He was born a Roman citizen in Britain. This book tells the fascinating tale of his life and how he wound up the patron saint of Ireland.

Caedmon's Song
Based on the true story of Caedmon, who became the first English poet. Caedmon was a cowherd who froze every time it was his turn to sing a song. This gives a nice look into the world of oral tradition, poetry and song.

Across a Wild and Dark Sea
A legendary tale of the exploits of Columcille, also known as Columbia, an Irish monk, revered in Celtic history.

Favorite Medieval Tales
This treasure of a book has versions of many famous tales of the middle ages, adapted for children. We just read Beowulf. Beowulf, people! Do you know how thrilling it is, to read Beowulf to your little boys? They eat this stuff up with a spoon. (And like I said - adapted for children, so it is quite abbreviated and not nearly as graphic). The book also includes tales such as The Sword in the Stone, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Robin Hood and the Chanticleer and the Fox. Good stuff here.

Brendan the Navigator
This book explores the mystery of whether Saint Brendan "discovered" America, long before Columbus or even the Vikings. It relates some legends of Brendan, and gives a nice look at how things that are legend may indeed originate in truth, and how sometimes history is still a mystery.

The Sword in the Tree
This is David's chapter book of the moment, a story taking place in the era of king Arthur.

And audio stories! If you're actually still reading (phew!, nice job!), and if you haven't heard of Jim Weiss, you can thank me later. Jim Weiss is a fantastic storyteller who has audio stories of all kinds. You can buy MP3 downloads (easy and instant!), or CDs. We've listened to everything from American Tall Tales to Bible stories to stories from Ancient Egypt. So far this year, we've added:

Celtic Treasures
Dashing legends from the ancient Celts - Finn MacCoul, Cuchulain and more. These are a lot of fun.

King Arthur and His Knights
These tell the stories of Arthur and the sword in the stone, Excalibur and the story of Sir Percival. Lots of fun without a lot of the more adult drama that comes later in the tale. In other words, you won't find yourself having to explain the world "adultery" or what on earth Lancelot and Guinevere were up to.

So that's our look at the early middle ages. We'll be diving into the next phase soon, with stories of Charlemagne and a look at the world of the Vikings next!

Art and Music Fridays

I'm trying something new this year - Art and Music Fridays. I've seen different variations on this theme from other homeschoolers, so this certainly isn't an idea I take credit for. I looked at how our days and weeks flow and instead of trying to cram things like art projects, artist study, music appreciation and so forth, into our mornings as an "I hope we get to this regularly" subject, I thought we'd try putting aside our regular work on Fridays and focusing on something else.

Art and Music Fridays doesn't quite encapsulate all of what I have on the agenda for Fridays, but "Art and Music and Freewriting and Games" is a bit of a mouthful. Fridays will be a day for things like art projects, as well as learning about music and great artists. We'll also do some things like freewriting, and playing some language and math games.

I'm hopeful that having a day that is set aside for something different, and admittedly more fun (despite my pie in the sky hopes that ALL our learning is super fun, darnit), will be a refreshing end to the week and help keep us from experiencing too much burnout as the year progresses. Sometimes you just have to put away the regular stuff and do something else!

I also love what Charlotte Mason, a 19th century British educator whose writings are popular in the homeschooling world, had to say about providing children with a "feast of ideas." We can draw from everything from great books to beautiful art to lovely music, and it gives the child a feast for their mind and heart. So often, providing the feast takes a backseat to making sure our kids know their math facts and grammar - even at home where we aren't faced with the teaching-to-the-test dilemma so prevalent in public schools.

So bring on the feast!

Here are some of the resources I'm using to help make this happen. I like a bit of handholding, because it makes it more likely I'll follow through with these ideas, but much of this would be easy to organize and put together on your own, for free.

Artist Study
Picture Study Portfolios from Simply Charlotte Mason. These come with prints to look at, as well as a biography of the artist. We're beginning our year with Monet. This is one of those things that isn't hard to pull together on your own, but I decided having it all done for me was worth it. I'm also including a few children's books from the library, such as The Magical Garden of Claude Monet and Monet Paints a Day. We'll spend the next couple of months learning about Monet and looking at his art, then move on to another artist.

Music
I'm using the SQUILT curriculum from Homegrown Learners. We'll be focusing on the Baroque period (and I'm hopeful she'll come out with more soon!). SQUILT is Super Quiet UnInterrupted Listening Time. Again, this kind of music appreciation isn't hard to put together on your own, but I am in love with having it all laid out for me, including YouTube links and notebooking sheets for the kids to fill out. We'll be learning about different Baroque composers, as well as things like dynamics, tempo, rhythm, instrumentation and mood.

Art projects
I have a handful of books, and a mess of stuff on my Pinterest boards to draw from. I also recently discovered Art for Kids, which is a FABULOUS site with lots of great (and many simple and not super messy) projects. Deep Space Sparkle is another great website for art lessons. The book Discovering Great Artists has art projects that introduce the style of great artists, so we'll definitely be doing some of those that tie into our artist studies as well.

Freewriting
We do some freewriting a la Bravewriter (have I mentioned I'm a Bravewriter fan?). David is really the only one participating in this writing exercise, and in the spirit of setting a good example, I write with him. We pick a topic, set a timer for five minutes, and write without stopping until time is up. There are no rules, except you keep writing the whole time, and no correcting of errors. We just write. If he wants to (which he always does) we share what we wrote. As the year progresses, we'll use the freewriting exercise to help with writing projects as well.

Math games
We use Right Start Math, so there are TONS of games built right into the curriculum. The hard part is making time for them. The games are fun, and wonderful for practicing math facts and working with numbers. Even if you don't use Right Start, you can get their book of math games. I highly recommend them!

Word games
Bravewriter has suggestions for word games using magnetic poetry. We also have Scrabble, and I'd like to add Bananagrams to our repertoire. I recently found Star Wars mad libs and about died. Mad libs are fun and a good way to reinforce parts of speech, but Star Wars mad libs? Are you kidding me? If you have a Star Wars fan, get thee to a store and buy some, stat.

So that's our plan. There will be some Fridays where we have other activities, and as always, our routine is ever evolving. But the kids were pretty excited to have something different to do today, so if the very first week of school is any indication, this should be a hit.